#ltl

Got to the park at 6:58 but nature called and had to get a quick bano break. Did drills and warm ups and stuff. 

Race went alright after about a mile or so on the far south east side of the course. I made a surge hoping to get 5 guys under 10:50 that was my main goal that I visualized for like 3 days lol. But nobody went with me and it made me look like an a hole. The bright side to that was the pack picked it up. But when I saw nobody go with me and coach told me what's up I stopped turned around got back with the pack. I was pretty upset with myself the most. So I basically went from race-ish mode to hard finish mode. I no longer wanted to race. So I basically hard finished my way touch stuff going through my brain. No more surging from me anymore. The team did great!! Proud of them. 

Wow eye opener for me. 

Race: team started out not so well way back and yeah most of the mile was weaving around people, next i lead the next 1k which was part of our plan. except it was suppose to be a mile. idk. i didnt run well. i havent ran "fast" in 3 years. i dislike this feeling. There's only so much Coach and the team can do for me. I just lack the confidence that i need and the mental ability to be and go fast. idk I'm really hard on myself. its just hard i need more support. But most importantly i need to believe in myself. I've invested too much to not be as fast as i should be. I've been putting in some thoughts and i need to fix these areas.

1. Eat Healthier. I am going to limit myself on fast food and unhealthy treats and substitute them for healthier options.

2. Mentaly becoming stronger and a better person, idk how but i have the internet.

3. Accept defeat and move on, I've never won a race, still want to.

4. be a better teammate, I want others to improve aswell.

theres probably more idk i cant think right now. I just want to run fast.

Workout today. First one all season. We had 4x800 Meter hills at the legendary Old Man Hills. coach said 75% but i have no idea what the heck that was so i ran hard but not too hard. I lead them all and never faultered for a second. if i can do this in a workout i sure as hell can do it in a race. Mentally tough.

30 minutes cheese with a dope loop.

50 minutes with the team to the legendary danburgs. SOOOO Beast!

lol the race got canceled

took yesterday off, and came back with a good run of 4x4ish minutes with 3ish recovery. I need a watch.